For far too long we men have been getting a bad rap in the press and in general society for things that we may have done or said. One does need look too hard to find the proof of this. There are men that have done bad, horrific and maybe even, evil things. Some of us have earned much of the negative attention that we men have been getting as of late. Even so, although it is frustrating to see and read, it is time, that we Men, pay attention, stand up, and do our very best to put an end to what seems to be this relentless man-bashing and continual reference to things that we do as “toxic masculinity”.
Arguing with our critics is not the point here.
Giving them less to criticize is.
BAM!!!
We are men. As individuals, there should be no need for us to apologize for this fact. That is, unless we ourselves did do something that we should apologize for. And if we did do something that lessens us as a man, and lessens us as an entire group of men, then an apology would just be the beginning of coming to terms with the inappropriate thing that a man may have done. There are and always will be consequences for our actions. There must be. Even though the actions of a small few should not spoil the bunch, unfortunately, these days, it really does seem to be that the bad apples are spoiling the bunch.
Society tends to like grouping people. Grouping people is a way, of course, of identifying people. Why have stereotypes existed for so long, good or bad? Because as individuals, once we know who is in our group, we can then figure out who is not in our group. For many years of our evolution, knowing which group was ours or theirs was quite simply, a matter of life or death. The notion of groups is ingrained in us for many generations, if not for hundreds of thousands of years. Again, our survival depended on it.
In the modern era, the grouping of people seems more to be about figuring out who is the oppressor and who is the oppressed. And grouping people does make it easy to start laying blame on who is the oppressor. But just because a relatively few members of a group are making it hard for people outside of the group, and then also making it hard for the people within the group, this does not mean that the majority of the group is wrong, or bad or even, evil. The few apples spoiling it for the bunch should not mean that we toss the whole bushel away. After all, the baby does not get thrown out with the bath water.
We, Not The Rotten Few
But the problem for the men that are not the trouble makers, so to speak, is that we end up feeling guilty for the actions of the rotten few. And in this guilt, we start to question if maybe manhood and masculinity is a bad thing and is a real problem. Then we may even start to think and believe, that we, as an individual man, belonging to the group of men, are as the problem, after all.
It should not need to be argued that an entire group should not ever be found guilty as a whole, based on the actions of the few members of the group that have caused the problems. This is called, well, it is called any kind of “ism” that one could think of. And in condemning an entire group based on a few is in “ism” that should not ever be advocated or pursued.
As A Group We Are All Individually Responsible
Therefore, being a man, and therefore a part of the group of men, being a man should not ever be something to feel shame or guilt for. However. The actions of a man, or any other person, for that matter, should be held accountable. If a person breaks the law, moral, legal, or, otherwise, justice should and must be served. As stated above, for the individual that took actions that had crossed the line and broke the law, consequences must be levied. And of course, if there are additional parties involved in the crime, there should also be consequences for their actions. But, from whichever societal group the perpetrators come from, the group that they came from can not be held liable merely by association for the actions of individual members of the group. Of course, there can be exceptions to this idea as it would depend on whether or not the group has an underlying malicious purpose to it.
Nonetheless, just because, generally speaking, a group should not be held liable for the actions of individual members this does not mean that the group has zero responsibility for the members of the group. For a group to survive, the group needs to make sure that its members are acting and behaving as good and proper examples of the group. By the definition of a group, the group needs to make sure that the members of a group are acting in accordance with the ideology of the group. And from the other side, people in a group should act as the best possible representatives of that group as they possibly can. The group needs to be responsible for the individual members and the individual members need to act as proper ambassadors of the group.
Heed The Call
We need to come back to the notion that it takes a village to raise the child into the adult, productive member of the village. Conversely, the individual member must work at fitting into their group and society. For us men, The Brotherhood of Men is our calling. And as men we must strive to became the best possible representation of our brotherhood.
So then, if a member of a group acts irresponsibly, even though the group should not be held responsible, it is imperative for the group to hold that individual accountable. The group needs to call out it’s misbehaved member to ensure that justice is served. And if the group acts in this right and just manner, then there is absolutely no need, ever, for the group to feel guilt or shame for the actions of a small number of the members of the group.
The Problem
We have a bigger problem, us men. Our group seems to be shattered and in disarray. We have lost our way and we are not doing the things that need to be done to ensure our survival. We have forgotten what is is to be a man. We have forgotten how to be men.
The group of The Brotherhood of Men needs to start looking after our own. We need to start making sure that we men are ALL acting in accordance with the group ideals. By looking after our own, it is meant to bring us back together onto the right path of Being A Man and Doing the Right Thing. We need to start holding each other accountable to the high ideals of what it means to be a man.
The Bible, Genesis – Chapter 4:
9: And the Lord said to Cain,
“Where is Abel your brother?” And he said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
The Bible, Genesis – Chapter 4:
The answer that we men must give to that question, is:
YES!!! We, most definitely, need to be our brothers keeper!!!!!
Conclusion: Why BAM???
Back to men and manhood. Being a man, should mean something. Being a man should mean something to each and every one of us men. It seems that we have forgotten the meaning of being a man. Maybe not all of us men, but many of us men have lost sight of what it means to be a man.
Even if, as a man, you are not behaving “toxically”, you may not remember what it means to be a man. We, as men, must rediscover what honest and noble manhood is. So, before we can stop apologizing, we must figure what the meaning is of what it is to Be A Man. And what it is to Be A Man and to Do The Right Thing.
So, what should it mean to Be A Man?
This, is exactly why BAM is here.
Be A Man – Do The Right Thing. Take Care Of Yourself.
BAM!!! Be A Man! Do The Right Thing.
Be the DtRTy Guy!