The holidays can be no fun if you are alone. Media, merchants, movies and TV are constantly promoting sharing and spending your time with other people. The deck definitely seems stacked against someone that is alone for the holidays. Getting through from Thanksgiving to the beginning of January can take all of the muster that you got. What can a single guy do to move past the holiday hoorah?
Three-fourths of Americans experience moderate to high levels of loneliness
Phys.org
These days there are any number of reasons why we may find ourselves alone. The Global Corona Virus pandemic is certainly going to put a damper on going home for the holidays and going anywhere, for that matter. Your relationship my have ended, you may be divorced or you have just moved to another city or country and find yourself alone for the holidays. What ever your reason is, being alone from mid-November through to the beginning of the new year can be a real downer. BAM! does not recommend that you cuff just for the sake of cuffing season. However…
If you set your mind right, being alone can be a positive experience. Instead of being sad and even depressed over the holidays, there are ways that you can find to stay upbeat, productive, and even full of joy during the holiday season. Whether you choose to do things for yourself or for other people, there is much about the holidays that can keep you from feeling all alone in the world.
When you are planning how you will spend your holiday time, reflect carefully about the kinds of things that you might enjoy doing. Perhaps you could volunteer to help others or go away on a holiday so you aren’t around your usual surroundings and instead have a lot of new sights and some new people you can meet to distract you. Regardless of what you choose to do, you need to know that you have plenty of options to choose from if you’re alone over the holidays.
Consider These Options To Make Good Use Of Your Alone Time:
1. Take A Trip To Somewhere Exotic.
Take a vacation. There’s no better time to treat yourself to an exciting vacation than during a winter when you’re feeling lonely. Pick somewhere with lots of activities and allow yourself to be open to meeting other people who are perhaps wearing the exact shoes that you are.
- Go skiing in the mountains.
- Spend a few days at a spa resort.
- Visit a city or town that you’ve always wanted to visit.
When you travel, there’s always something new to see. Being alone is okay, because you’re busy learning and doing new things. Even if you stay close to home or are only gone a few days, the break can be very refreshing and rewarding.
With Corona, the above suggestions may not be possible. If nothing else, plan the trip as your post Corona reward. Figure out where you want to go and Google up all the info that is related to your vacation destination. It will give you something to do, get you informed, interested and motivated for for the trip itself, and it will give you something to look forward to in order to get you through the season.
2. Volunteer Some Of Your Time To People In Need.
Care for the homeless. If you check your local newspaper or watch a community channel, you’ll very likely find stories about shelters that are doing something special for the homeless this winter. Why not sign up as a volunteer and take part in the following ways:
- Being a food server as homeless people come into a shelter for meals is one of the most inspiring, selfless things you can do.
- Reading bedtime stories to kids who seek refuge in a homeless shelter is a great way to bond with someone and open your heart to caring for another person. Many homeless kids don’t know what it feels like to have someone care for them. Seeing their eyes light up with pleasure can bring you as much joy as it does them.
- Taking some warm clothes to homeless people can be a heartwarming experience for you as well.
Your generous act contributes to the comfort, health, and safety of those who might be in dire straits without your help.
Donate to charity. If you’re not inclined to visit a homeless shelter, or if you don’t have the opportunity to do so, you could always make a meaningful donation to a charity of your choice. You won’t be directly involved in the lives of those you’ve contributed to, but your contribution will still be felt.
- Make a meaningful cash deposit to the Salvation Army account.
- Ship a box of fun toys and gifts, individually wrapped, to a local children’s home.
- Purchase tickets to Disneyworld especially for a named child and guardian at a home of your choice.
Whether you read to children, visit the elderly in a nursing home, hand out food at a soup kitchen, or give of your time in some other way, you’ll quickly see that you have much to be thankful for. You can quickly realize that there are many, many people in the world that are worse off than you are. The people you help will appreciate you, as well.
3. Be Helpful To As Many People As Possible.
What can you do for that struggling coworker, the person who just missed his flight, or someone else who’s alone during the holiday season? There are plenty of ways you can help people other than volunteering anywhere specific. Look for ways to help others wherever you go.
4. Network With Others Who Are Also Alone.
If you can find a group of widows, divorcees, or others without family close to them over the holidays, get together with them. With all the technology that is available for video conferencing you could meet people from all over the world. Check social media websites to find groups of people with similar interests or situations as yours. What starts out as commiserating can turn into a lot of laughs. Create great holiday memories and possibly some new friendships that you can hang onto all year long.
And if you get the invite, don’t be afraid to say yes. There is no shame in being single or alone on the holidays.
5. Choose To Think This: You Can Celebrate The Holiday In Whatever Way You Choose
This thought, alone, can be very empowering, when you look at it from a positive perspective. How you think about the time and what you do with your time will greatly affect how you feel over the holidays and into the New Year.
Alone Time Can Be Positive And Productive
Take the time to start some personal projects that you had always planned on doing.
- Start An Online Course.
- Learn A New Language.
- Pick Up A New Hobby Or Get Back To An Old One.
- Learn To Play A Musical Instrument.
- Start An Online Blog Or Business.
There are literally tons of positive and productive things that you can do.
Alone: Get To Know Yourself Better
When you’re spending time with others, remember that some alone can also be good for your mind and soul. Spending time by yourself and learning to be comfortable with yourself in the quiet times of your life can help you move forward in better understanding yourself and others. When you do that, you find some calm easier to have than you would if you avoided dealing with your alone times.
And, look, it’s okay to be lonely at times. For many of us, it’s even possible to be lonely around a bunch of people, or to be lonely and happy at the same time. Loneliness is an emotion. You can acknowledge it as a natural human attribute that everyone has and then work towards focusing on other things that are important to you to help distract you from the lonely feelings.
Section Conclusion
Not just during the holidays, but throughout your life, some time spent alone, balanced with time spent with others, can lead to a full, rich life in which you’ll accomplish many things that are important to you.
You need to make the choice to get over the holiday funk and then you need choose to do some positive and productive things with you time. Yes, if you let it be, it is that easy.
You’ll feel better and more confident about yourself and your situation and you’ll have more to offer to other people that you will no doubt meet, possibly during this holiday season and well into the rest of your life.
BAM! Be A Man. Do The Right Thing. Take Care Of Yourself And Your Family. Happy Holidays!
Alone Because You Lost a Loved One? Celebrate Their Life During the Holidays
When a loved one has passed on, the next set of holidays coming up can be painful, sad, and gut-wrenching. It is not easy to get through the holidays when someone that you love is longer here to share them with you. For us men, at times, it can be harder in some ways. We tend to keep our thoughts and feelings inside ourselves and we do not always talk with others about how we may be feeling. Lost in our own thoughts we start thinking about how unfair life is. We can start to blame ourselves that we were somehow at fault. Depression can be a natural progression to such a situation. It is okay to mourn. But at some point and sooner than later, we need to change our thoughts.
You have to start thinking about the situation like this, it may be cliché, we know, but your loved one would’ve wanted you to be happy and joyful, and smiling as you remember the good times that you have shared together. If you have trouble with this, consider it from the other way around. If you had been the one to pass first, wouldn’t you want your survivors to continue to go on happy and content to have had the relationship with you?
To work toward a peaceful feeling about them being gone, find a way to celebrate your loved one’s life this holiday season.
Memories Should Not Haunt Us
The great memories you had with that person can be a place to start. Pictures are always good, too. They may make you feel sad, but there are usually times in that sadness where you’ll find yourself smiling or laughing over something silly or touching that you remembered or saw in a picture. Incorporating that loving feeling into your holidays can help you to heal.
Let Your Faith Guide You
No matter what your religious faith, you can use prayer and your spiritual beliefs to help you get through trying or lonely times when you miss your loved one. Sometimes, those feelings are magnified at special times like holidays, and more time to pray or meditate is needed. Don’t be afraid to take the time you need for prayer.
Talk To Them
if prayer is not your thing, have small conversations with them in your mind or out loud. Imagine what they would say to you how they laughed or smiled with you when you told them a joke or said something funny.
You need to grab hold of the understanding that your loved one is at peace. Remind yourself that the struggles they may have faced here in their lifetime are no more. There can be comfort in those thoughts.
Dwell On The Happy Times
Of course you miss your loved one, but you also have the joy of having known that person for a period of time.
Use these tips to help you focus on your happy times together:
1. Cherish what you had.
When the holidays come around and you start to get sad over what you don’t have, think about all the times you did have. What would your loved one want you to remember about him or her? Ask Them.
2. Focus Your Energy On Feeling Good For What Was.
Whether you had your loved one a long period of time or a short one, you had love in your life for that time. That’s a very precious gift. Elevate the value of that gift by savoring the happy moments you remember.
3. Remember The Good Times.
Everyone has memories of their loved ones that make them smile or that they re-live again and again. Take those memories out and look at them over the holidays.
4. Do Some Small Things That Help You Manage This Time Of Year.
You might like to hang up your loved one’s stocking at Christmastime, light a candle for them, or make or buy a favorite food or dessert “for them”.
5. If There Are Children From Your Relationship
Age appropriate, of course, share with and involve them. Don’t close yourself off from them and don’t let them close themselves off from you. They loved the person too. They are probably feeling bad about the holidays without their parent too. Do not leave them out of the process. Let them know how you are feeling. Ask them how they are feeling. Each of you will have different fond memories that you can share with each other that can help you all get through the tough time.
People Mourn Differently
Mourning is part of the healing process, but remember to celebrate, too. Everyone does things differently when it comes to how they want to show their love for someone who has gone on before them. Focus on a celebration that feels right to you. No matter what it is, within reason, of course, if it’s right for you, then it’s perfect for the occasion.
Because everyone is different, some people might question what you’re doing or why. That’s okay. Honor your loved one and celebrate their life in a way that brings you joy and peace this holiday.
Conclusion
It is not easy to be alone for the holidays. Find ways to spend your time positively and productively. If you are alone due to the passing of your loved one, find ways to remember and honor what was. But do so with an eye to the future. You had love in your life. Some people may never experience that. Respect what you had. If you have children bring them into the process. And with that eye to the future know that love still exists in the world and can happen again for you. There is hope. There is always hope.
BAM! Be A Man. Do The Right Thing. Take Care Of Yourself And Your Family. Happy Holidays!
BAM! Be A Man. Do The Right Thing.
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