If you find yourself alone and are looking to have someone special in your life, the holidays can be a hard time for your morale. Valentine’s Day definitively feels like a holiday that seems to rub being alone right in our face.
On the one hand, it’s easy to argue that Valentine’s Day is just another box on the calendar. On the other hand, it can be a stark cold reminder that your love life isn’t what you’d like it to be. You need to remember that as it is for just about all aspects of our life, the question that you need to answer is this: What are you going to do about it? All of the worthwhile things in life requires conscious effort on our part that comes from having some sort of strategy and the plan on what to do about achieving it.
With a plan in place, with steps that can be taken to reach a goal, every day has the opportunity to be a worthwhile day for you, even a Valentine ’s Day spent alone.
Guess what? Being alone is the perfect time to be formulating plans for your new and better future. If you are looking for someone special and since “love is in the air”, this might be the perfect opportunity to take a step back and figure out what you can do to enhance your love life.
For starters, you should read the BAM! Dating Primer For Men.
You cannot find what you are looking for if you don’t know what it is that you are looking for, where to look for it and what steps that you need to take to find that what it is that you are looking for.
To Find Someone New Try These Strategies:
1. Make A List Of Every Partner That You have Ever Had.
Include those that you only dated for a short period of time. Go all the way back to high school. Take your time and make a complete list. Start thinking about them and what it was that attracted you to them. See the next step.
2. Make A List Of The Positive Attributes You Would Like To See In Your Next Partner.
Do this by reviewing the list you just made and asking yourself what you liked about that particular person. Was it there sense of humor and the color of their hair or eyes? Or was it that they had a sense of morality and the fact that they liked to watch sports and play video games?
- Be thorough! Pour yourself a glass of whatever you like to drink while working on a worthwhile project and give this step the attention it deserves. You could end up with 30 attributes or more.
- Be reasonable. Very few of us will ever have the chance to meet a supermodel or anyone famous, let alone date them.
3. Consider The Qualities That You Don’t Want In Your Next Partner.
Avoiding the negative is just as important as acquiring the positive. Go back through your list from step one. For each person on your list think about one or two things about them that you would prefer they did not have or were like.
- Did they always put career first and didn’t have enough time for you?
- Did they spend too much time with their family?
- Did he or she have their friends over every day?
- Were they not able to spend quality time alone with you?
- Too many or not enough tattoos or piercings?
- Were they a slob?
- Where they emotionally or mentally unstable?
When considering someone for dating always keep your list of the things to avoid fresh in the back of your mind. There is no point in repeating what can be considered previous mistakes.
4. Make A Best Of The Best List.
Okay, so you have figured out that you would like someone that has a great sense of humor. Of all the people that you know, who has the best sense of humor? It could even be a character from TV, the movies, or a book. Define for yourself what the perfect sense of humor is with a concrete example.
- Do this for all the positive qualities you listed in the first step.
5. Make A Plan To Find This Incredible Person.
Look at your desired characteristics and think about where this person might spend their time. A brainy person might play chess, take night classes, or spend time at the bookstore. An athletic person probably plays recreational sports and spends time at the gym.
If you have strong values and convictions, then maybe getting involved in your local religious establishment could prove fruitful to your search.
The point is that you need to get yourself out there. Even if you do not immediately meet someone to date, you expand your social circle which can increase your chances.
6. Give Online Dating A Fair Chance.
Online dating has a few big advantages. There are lot of people with the same goal, and they’re right in front of you. You can also approach them via online messaging, eliminating the terror that comes with approaching a stranger in public. You can go through a lot of profiles while watching the news from the comfort of your couch.
- Stay on task. Look for signs of your desirable attribute list. Avoid those profiles that demonstrate one or more of your undesired traits.
- Set a goal for how many people you’ll contact each day but keep the number small. You’ll find that you can’t juggle very many at once. You might lose a great potential partner if you’re too distracted by too many emails.
Keep in mind that online dating apps are just another tool for you to use. Online dating apps have some advantages but there are pitfalls with them as well. Do not rely on online apps alone.
Be sure to use all of the tools that are available and at your disposal.
7. Meet People In Person.
At some point, the relationship has to move beyond the computer and your cell phone. Be careful, but be brave, too.
Obviously the point of dating is to spend some time with someone, in person so, seriously be careful. Take your time. One night stands can be fun, but BAM! recommends that you take it slow.
8. Keep Your Eyes Open.
The cute man or woman in line with you at the grocery store could be the one. All you have to do is open your mouth and say “Hi.” Be carefully bold.
You will have to take chances and put yourself on the line. For most of us men, we will be rejected much more often than we will get a good response. And it is more than just a numbers game although, it may feel like that at times. Ignore the rejection and keep working your plan. The more times that you make the effort the easier that it becomes.
The point is, as always, know what you are looking for, have a plan in place for what you it is that you want and take the action steps that you need to do take in order to get you on your way.
9. Improve Your Chances
Think about the things that you can do about and for yourself in order to make yourself more attractive to that particular someone that you want to find. Your ideal person probably has some criteria of their own regarding the person that they would like to meet. Do all that you can for you to be able to meet their criteria.
Take care of your appearance. Dress better. Read books. Get a better job. Involve yourself in cultural activities. Read the BAM! Dating Primer For Men to start with. As attractive as someone should be for you, you need to be just as attractive to them.
Conclusion
You don’t know where or how you may meet someone. However they may “pop-up” into your life, you must take the necessary steps to solve the problem of being alone.
Yes, it can be a little depressing to spend Valentine’s day alone. It can also be a great opportunity to take action and begin the process of finding someone new. Use your lonely, depressed feelings as motivation for yourself.
Instead of sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself playing video games and eating too much junk food, take control of the situation by beginning the search for what could be your perfect partner.
Be A Man – Do The Right Thing. Better yourself. Find Someone Special. Be Bold. Happy Valentine’s Day!
BAM!!! Be A Man! Do The Right Thing.
Be the DtRTy Guy!