The holidays are undoubtedly a time when you want to spend as many hours as possible doing the fun, interesting and memorable things with those that you love most.
While you were growing up, you likely became accustomed to the holidays being all or mostly about spending time with your family. However, as times changed, and you have grown up to being an adult, you have also developed many relationships with friends that you are very close to.
It’s easy to see how holiday times can add stress to how, what and with whom you would like to spend your holiday time. On one hand, you’re pulled towards observing the time honored tradition of being with your family. On the other hand, you feel the desire to share the holidays with those other special people in your life that have become your close knit peer group.
So how do you choose?
Do You Need Anybody?
I just Need Someone To Love
The Beatles
Consider these aspects when trying to decide who to spend your holidays with:
1. Meaning Of The Season.
In order to decide who to spend your holidays with, it’s important to first consider the meaning of the season to you. Is it about sharing gifts and time with loved ones? Or is it about going out and having a blast an amazing night our or by taking an exciting holiday vacation?
- One thing’s for sure: it’s about the memories, so you would need to determine which set of memories you would treasure most.
You need make your choice and be comfortable and accepting of your decision. If your choice goes against family tradition you will need to be able to stick to your guns, and explain to them that maybe for this year, you need a change.
Expect them to be disappointed. For most parents and families, with so many people moving away from their family town and home, the holidays is usually the one time of the year that people make the effort to be together. For parents with their kids that have moved away and on their own, not having you show up, especially if everyone else will be there can be very distressing for them.
It is your life and you have to live it, but family is family so do take their wishes into consideration. If you choose to not be with them over the holidays, you will pay the price. Be sure that it is price that you are willing to pay.
Consider the following compromises:
2. Splitting The Time.
If you are staying close to home and the choice is about with whom to spend the holiday with, your family or with your friends, it should also makes sense to consider if splitting the time during the holidays between family and friends is doable. For example, you could spend the days leading up to and after Christmas with friends, and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with family.
Make it a tradition that December 26 is the day that you celebrate Christmas with your friends.
Another possibility can be that instead spending the evening at one persons home, go house hopping and visit each one of your friends family dinners for a short time, and then move on to the next house. If you choose to do this, have a preplanned schedule and decide on where you will start and which house to finish the evening off at.
3. Alternating Years.
Another good option for you to consider that would allow you to avoid choosing between family and friends is to alternate years between your groups. One year, make the commitment to dedicate your time during to the season to your family.
But, be sure to let them know that the following year that you’ll be spending the holiday with your friends. Let your friends know about your plans as well so no one feels left out.
If you choose to make this year the year to be away from them, for your parents and family, knowing in advance that you will still be with them the following year can be enough for them to back off with being against you for not being their with them this year.
4. Mixing Family And Friends.
Can your holiday events be arranged to include both family and friends? For example, instead of planning with your friends to go hiking in the Grand Canyon or bungee jumping off Niagara Falls, you could choose camping or lodging at a location that might even appeal to members of your family.
- Make suggestions for other activities and events that a wider cross-section of loved ones can be a part of.
- Get the best of both worlds: Suggest to your family that you all spend the holidays together away from home. Perhaps you can start a new tradition with both your friends and family to share a vacation rental somewhere for a week at Christmas. You can all create new memories for everybody to hold dear for years to come.
- Invite your friends to Christmas dinner at your family home, if possible, or host Christmas dinner for your friends and family together. If feeding everyone at once is to much for you to handle on your own, host a Christmas Day brunch Open House and serve the food buffet style. Have everyone bring some leftovers from the day before and there should be no shortage of food. Friends and family can pop in throughout the day, leaving you more time to visit with each one.
If your parents have the space, bringing a small group of your friends to the family dinner at their place, can be an excellent solution to the problem. You will be able to satisfy everyone’s desire to be together with and and there is an added value to the evening.
If you have good friends, as you should have, that are good people, as they should be, once the dinner is over and everyone is sitting back and enjoying what should be good conversation, your parents may be able to sit there watching you with a sense of warmth and pride to see you interacting with good decent people.
Parents want to know that their children will be okay on their own and, at the same time, to still be a part of your life. Having your good friends come spend the holiday with you and your family can be a great way for them to see both of these things and to maybe even realize that they have done a reasonable job of raising you.
One Last Thing To Keep In Mind.
You may feel that it is time for you to decide on your own what you will do for the holidays. The holidays come once a year. There are other times throughout the year to spend the time with your friends. As your family gets older and you and your siblings or the other family peers that you have start to have families of their own, the chances that you will all be able to be together for the holidays diminishes with each passing year.
We are not trying to tell you what to do. BAM! men do their best to see the whole picture and make their choices based on seeing as much as possible. BAM! men also know that every choice made has a cause and effect. Whatever you decide to do, make your choice with these thoughts in mind and with taking into consideration the effects of your choices made.
Conclusion
You don’t necessarily have to spend the holidays with only one set of special people and thereby excluding another set of people that you care about. With some careful consideration and proper planning, you can split up your time amongst all the people who matter most so you’re a part of everybody’s holiday memories.
Or, perhaps an even better a way can be found to have all of them together with you over the holidays. Whichever way to choose to handle it, being with them in one way or another will make it so that they can all be a part of your holiday too!
BAM! Be A Man. Do The Right Thing. Take Care Of Yourself And Your Family. Happy Holidays!
BAM! Be A Man. Do The Right Thing.
Be The DtRTy Guy!