Get Lucky! Find Out How.
It really seems that dating for men is not so simple these days. Despite what you may be led to believe, there are no magic bullets, one lines that you can say or simple tricks to find a someone and have them like you too. It can take time effort and many false starts to find someone that you like likes you back and is even worth liking at all. Just because someone likes you does not mean that you should start something with them. Being in a relationship just to be in a relationship is not at all recommended, ever. Loneliness sucks but being with someone that you really do not like will only add more stress to your life and lead to resentment of that person. The question becomes how to find the right person?
How Should You Find The Right Person?
In talking about how to find someone we do not mean that you should only go to clubs or bars or join dating sites. If that is your thing, no problem, but take into consideration that you could find someone anywhere. You never know where or when you will meat someone that you like, and that just may like you too. With this thought in mind then, what we are talking about is for you being ready for any chance or planned situation. You can use online dating sites and apps and you just may be able to get a first date with someone. Good and good luck to you. Wait… Is it about luck at all?
For now, let’s assume that luck has some factor to your success in meeting someone or having that first date. Obviously timing is a large part of whether or not someone is even available for a date. If we equate timing to luck, then “luck”, definitely plays a part in dating success. So, do you want to “get lucky”? Good. Because the goal for you is to increase your chances that you will have success in meeting all kinds of people in all kinds of places – not just dating prospects and situations.
Your goal should be to find a date yes, but to also expand your network of people that you know, that know you and that you have a mutually shared respect with, for each other. As has been stated, you never know when or where you may find the person of your dreams. You need to keep in mind that there is a good chance that meeting that person will come through or from the people that you know. Meeting a special someone new can come from your network of the people that you already know.
About Your Network:
We are not saying that you should be making friends and expanding your network just for the purpose of trying to meet someone to date. Your network should ideally be a group of people that you share common interests and values with, which leads to the mutual respect. When people see that you are like them and that you share their interests and values with them, they will respect you. When they respect you they will trust you and when they trust you, they just may introduce you to someone for a date. But again, your goal for friendship with others should be to have a true friendship with them first and not just to meet and date their sibling. Meeting people to date from a peer group can be a positive by-product of your relationship with them.
Once you meet someone to date you will need to ask them for the date. Yes with words, from your mouth, asking them. You are going to have to assume that they do not have the ability to read minds to know that you have an interest in them that is more than just as a friendship or acquaintance. With all of the crazy thoughts in your head it is probably better that they are not mind-readers so be thankful for that. Yes, you will have to ask them or otherwise make your intentions explicitly known to them.
A Quick Tip, Here:
When you find yourself attracted to someone do not wait too longs to ask them out. They may say no. So it goes. Guess what Romeo, not all the people that you ask out on a date will say yes. In fact, for most of us, most of the people that we ask will say no. You must accept the reality. But, by asking early in the cycle of getting to know someone, if you ask them for a date and they say no, it will be easier to put the “no” behind both of you and not affect the group dynamic. Plus, if the other person is interested in you, then you can avoid falling into the dreaded “friend-zone”.
Now before you go and start asking for dates, you need to take stock of yourself.
Are YOU Even Ready To Ask Anyone Out On A Date?
Starting with the basics, you need to be presentable. You need to look your best. This means clean, groomed, manicured, whatever. And your clothes should be clean, wrinkle free, without any holes or fraying or tears. You do not always need to dress for a visit to The Queen, unless that is who your asking out on a a date! Current fashion trends can be factored in for the distressed jeans look or however “the look” may be at the time. And unless you are at the beach or a pool party, dressing one level up would be suggested. Got it? Look good. Look presentable. And try to look decent whenever you leave your home. You never know when you might bump into an interesting prospect.
At least look and dress for the peer group that you are trying to be a part of.
A Word Or Two About Your Ride
Even if you are meeting your date somewhere, make sure that you vehicle is clean, without visible damage and with a good coat of paint. If you are picking up your date, make sure that everything works (seat-belts, doors, windows, and locks, etc). You do not need to be driving a brand new or fancy car, but it should not look like a heap. If your car has a powerful stereo, make sure you keep the volume at reasonable levels.
What Mom Use To Say:
Remember when your mother use to tell you to that, when you go out of your house to always wear clean underwear? Mom had a strong and valid point. So, take that point and expand it to encompass the rest of you too – Not just what you wear, but who you are as well!
In Part 2 of this three part series the question of
“What is it that someone wants from a suitor anyway?” is answered.
Things to think about: What about you? What steps have you taken that have led to dating success? What steps did not work?
From the people that have been asked out on dates, what have you learned? What constructive advice can you offer to someone asking you on a date?
Be A Man – Do The Right Thing. Take Care Of Yourself. Be Ready. Be Prepared.
BAM!!! Be A Man! Do The Right Thing.
Be the DtRTy Guy!
