The Truth Hurts. But The Truth Will Set You Free.
If you don’t already know, there are some things in life that no man ever wants to hear. Horrible things that can quite literally rip the rug out from under our feet. These horrible things can come from our doctors, lawyers, employers, parents, spouses and mates, from the people that we love and from many other sources. From this short list of possibilities, I am sure that we can all imagine what they may be.
Just by briefly thinking about them we know that some of the things that can be said can really and truly be devastating and catastrophic to just about everyone that may hear them.
Thankfully we are not talking about those things now.
We Are Talking About Some Of Life’s Most Basic Truths.
These are the truths that your mother probably never told you while you were growing up. But don’t blame her. She was just trying to protect you. These are not the truths that feel good and they are not the little white lies that we were told to appease us. How about something like…
“Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.”
Yeah, sure. Thanks. I guess being called names as a kid didn’t hurt that much at that time.
Not only are these truths things that you may not want to hear, but some of them may actually shock and surprise you. But you will be alright. You’ll be better off knowing these truths once you get over any initial surprise with them.
It may take you some time to accept some of the truths since for many of us men, they go against many things that we were otherwise taught to believe. But by failing to accept them, by failing to understand them and by failing to integrate these truths and to incorporate them into your day-to-day life will make for your life possibly ending up to be confusing, dissatisfying and quite possibly simply wasted.
Each truth on the list below can be taken in basically one of two ways. We have tried to provide the better ways to handle the truth. And we men can handle the truth. It may not be easy and we may need some time to accept and adapt to these truths, but yes, we can handle them.
Regardless, Seek Out The Truth.
Read the rest of this article. Spend time on the BAM website. Read up on the different topics and do your best to figure out your own truth. And hopefully you will come to the realization that the truth will set you free.
Read, Understand And, Eventually Embrace These Truths In Order To Level-Up Your Capability To Better Navigate Your Way Through This Life:
We’ll Start With The Hard One…
1. You Can’t Control Or Change Others. It’s Hard Enough To Change Your Self!
This may be the hardest lesson to learn, especially when familial and romantic relationships are concerned. For family, good luck! In most cases, it’s probably not even worth trying. For significant others, well it usually goes like this: You find someone that comes close to meeting what you’re looking for, except for maybe a few rough areas. You consider them to be “a diamond in the rough” and you’re certain you can turn them into something shiny that you can live with. Forgive us for betting against you, but in most cases, you’d be wrong. Getting people to change can be like pushing a wet noodle.
- People naturally resist being controlled or changed unless they themselves want to change. Think about how hard it is to change something about yourself when you actually want to change – Just to change something relatively small! It is doable, but it is hard and it takes conscious effort. You want to eat better, hit the gym every day, and lose weight. Maybe you just want to save a little more money. But ninety-nine percent if not one-hundred percent of the time it is so hard to get those changes to stick.
- Now, imagine how hard it would be to change someone else that doesn’t want to change. Then add on the fact that they can be resisting your efforts and becoming resentful that you are even asking them to change. The odds are definitely stacked against you. At best you may marginally have a chance.
- Accept people for who and what they are. Do not expect them to change, even for you. So, either change your expectations or expect to be disappointed.
Don’t give up yet! Change is possible.
Effort is required. Genuine and open communication with people that you want to change is key. Let them know about your thoughts and what you would like from them. Most people cannot read minds so stop expecting them to. Start with small incremental steps and praise them, always, when they are doing what you want them to do.
Why Is Truth Number One So True?
Well, It’s Quite Simple, Really…
2. At Their Core Most People Really Only Care About What’s In It For Them.
Surprised? Fine, maybe with the exception of your mother (Yes, only a maybe! Deal with it), the majority of the world doesn’t care if you’re nice to kittens puppies and that you remember your spouse’s or child’s birthday. Do you know what society is composed of and cares about? Our society, for better or worse is basically made up of a bunch of people that need things for themselves and mostly only care about themselves. They need money, food, clothing, self-confidence, comfort, entertainment, and personal satisfaction. Yes, even your own mother.
- So, if you can’t provide any of the many needs that the people in society want to have fulfilled, you’re not going to get the respect and recognition you are looking for.
- It’s important for you to well develop your skills and abilities, the products that you design, make and provide, and the services that you offer, to meet and satisfy the wants and needs of society. Otherwise, guess what? You’ll find yourself being ignored. Sorry, who are you? What have you got to offer?
Find your way to add value to the world. Having something of value to offer the world will add meaning to your life.
Anyways, Even If You Could Change People…
3. Your Friends And Family Won’t Always Be There For You.
Everyone has their own problems and their own things to take care of. You’d better be able to bathe, cook, clean, and otherwise take care of yourself. While we are at it, you need to make your own money, brush your own teeth, and pay your own bills and pay them on time. Your friends and family won’t always be around to help you out, loan you money or bail you out when you need something or when you have screwed something up. You will be better off if you find your own way to the airport and learn to fold your own laundry. .
Learn to take care of yourself. Learn to be as self sufficient as possible. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
And, Guess What Else…
4. The Universe Isn’t For Or Against You.
Many people are under the silly and child-like illusion that the universe is either on their side or working against them. Ha! Grow up! As if the universe really has the time or interest to specifically care about you! The earth is just another speck of dust among the billions of other specks of dust in the universe. And each of us is just a speck of dust on our Mother Earth.
- You’re one organism among several millions of species of organisms. It’s estimated that there are over 20 million species of microorganisms that live in water – just in the water!. And on land, there are 50 birds for every single one person on the planet. And there are 7.8 billion of us people on the planet! You can do the math to figure out how many birds there are.
- Look, the universe is neither on your side nor against you. This can work for you or against you, depending on how you look at it. So guess what? You – YOU – are solely responsible for YOUR LIFE”S RESULTS and SUCCESS. Universally speaking, the only thing that really needs to be on your side is you, yourself. So make damn sure that you are.
Paraphrasing The Serenity Prayer:
Change And Do All That You Can.
Accept What You Can’t.
Have The Wisdom To Know The Difference.
With the above in mind,
Along The Way, Oh, How You Will Screw Up, Because…
5a. Failure Is Not Only The Norm, Failure Is The Rule.
In most games and contests that we men play there can be only one winner. Failure is par for the course (By the way, you do not need win all of the time). Expect to experience many failures before getting the results that you are striving for. When we first start something we have no real idea of what we are doing. So to get any better, we must try and learn from our mistakes. The only certain way to avoid any failures is to simply never try. But keep in mind that never trying is the exact and perfect strategy to ensure that you will never achieve and experience any success. You had better get use to and come to grips with failure.
- In order to deal with failure effectively you need to analyze and learn from the mistakes that caused the failure. Failure is nothing more than one undesirable outcome from what will end up being many more failed outcomes until the success is achieved. Therefore, there is no reason to take a failure personally. Success is more than just a numbers game, but if you figure out what went wrong, adjust your approach and try again success will come.
When you see things correctly, failure should be your best friend. It will be better for you to choose to find failure before failure finds you.
‘Cuz If You Ain’t Failing, You Ain’t Trying, So…
5b. Fail Earlier And Fail Often.
Learn from your mistakes. When you stop failing, if you are trying the it is time to ask yourself, “Okay, so what’s next?”.
Sure! You can reward yourself for a bit, but then on to the next thing!
Conclusion.
With regards to all of the above truths, just knowing them is not enough. The only way for you to overcome these truths is for you to aim high and do the proper, effective and valuable things in your life that are needed to get past and through the harshness of them.
Have your eyes been opened? Are you now more aware? Do you now better understand some of the harsh truths about the world? Like it or not, in this life, for a lot of it, you are on your own more than you realize and more than you may like it to be or want it to be. Fortunately for you, the good news in all this is that it puts you in the driver’s seat. You do retain some control and knowing these truths and acting rightly in regards to them will allow you to better navigate yourself through this life so that your life can be both a rewarding and successful life. The choice is , pretty much as always, yours to make.
Things are not as dire as they may seem after reading this You are not completely alone. You can get help.
Keep on reading. Keep on learning. Keep on growing. Whip these truths into submission!
What do you think? Do these truths ring true?
Have some tips and advice to share?
Be A Man – Do The Right Thing. Take Care Of Yourself.
BAM!!! Be A Man! Do The Right Thing.
Be the DtRTy Guy!