No. You Cannot Have Them Stay At Home Until They Turn 30.
Dad’s And Daughters.
Females – women, and girls – make up nearly half of the world’s population and yet they can still face unfair obstacles in the hallways of their schools, in the workplace, and out on the streets. It is so important to raise strong, independent, and confident girls to prepare them for what they may run into out there in the world.
Of course, moms are incredibly important for raising children, but girls also need their dads to help them grow up to become confidant, strong and independent women.
Girls first learn about the opposite sex from their dads. We owe it to them to make a good first impression.
Why can it be so hard for some of us dads to develop a strong relationship with our daughters?
Probably because we were once boys and we know how and what boys are thinking or, more to the point, what boys quite often are thinking with. And us thinking about what boys tend to think about girls – about our daughters – is not an easy thing for us to get our minds to deal with, to say the least.
The thought of our daughters, well, you know, as adults, doing adult things… say no more!
We cannot hide from or ignore the fact that our daughters will grow up and become woman and that they will eventually have adult relationships of their own. So, the best way to deal with this issue is to have a good solid relationship with our daughters when they are young.
We can make a difference in their lives. We must make a positive difference for them. We must be a positive role-model for them. They payoff for them can be huge: With having a good, solid relationship with them we are hoping that they will learn and know what good men are and should be. With the knowledge that they got from you, they are better able to take care of themselves out in the world.
So…
1) Make A Difference
Granted, much of the biological developmental topics will probably be handled by mom. Still as fathers, how can we make a positive difference in a daughters life? The first thing is to focus on our child’s abilities and not just on how she looks. Even at young ages, girls are subject to no end of messages that seem to define a woman’s self worth by how she looks. One way to raise confident girls is by letting them know that they are beautiful in their own way, of course, and then by showing them that their worth is not at all tied to how they look.
2) Help Them To Gain Their Confidence
One way to instill confidence in your daughter is to make sure that she understands that how they look is not as important as who they are and what they do.
As their father, it is crucial that they learn from a man (yes, you!) that they are smart, independent, strong, and interesting, and that they should have their own opinions and be active with many different interests. One again, all of this being not just because of how they look.
As their father, you need to reward your daughters for learning and having good grades, and for participating in activities or volunteering.
Although incredibly important, being supportive is not enough. You need to get involved and show a genuine interest in what she does. You need play an active part in your daughters life. Yes, you must go to her recital or art exhibit, soccer game, or whatever else she likes to do.
3) This Also Means That You Should Be Sharing Your Life With Her.
For example, explain to her what you do when you go to work. If it is appropriate and allowed, bring her to your work and show her what you do.
Involve her in your hobbies and pastimes.
- If your daughter shows interest, and you are the type of guy that changes the oil in your car, have her pass you the filter wrench.
- Simply put, share as much with her as you can.
Praise her for her actions and accomplishments. Even if it is a small thing that she has done, encouragement from her father goes a long way.
The reality is that when she grows up, you will not be able to be there to protect her. Even so, you do need to give your daughters the chance to experience and learn from her experiences. Of course, if an experience is just no good at all for her, then as her parent, set boundaries.
4) Play And Have Fun With Her.
When age appropriate, engage in some rough and tumble play and activities. Let her hammer the nail when you build the fence. And if in all of this, she bumps her elbow, or hits her thumb with the hammer, as long is it is not too big of an injury, laugh it off with her. Tell her the story of the first time that you struck your thumb with hammer and how you still do! and how it hurts like the devil and you want to cry from the pain!
At home, wash the the dishes with her and let her dry. Help her clean her room and put her toys away. By doing these chores with her she will learn that men should also be taking care of domestic duties.
5) Just Listen To Her
Sometimes, you can just sit with her and let her tell you her stories. Ask her what she thinks about something and why she likes one thing or another. Draw with her. Sing and dance to her favorite song. Make up silly names for things.
And, yes, you can even get into some toilet humor with her – burp, fart and pee-pee jokes can help to start to make the connection with them and get them to start to understand that some embarrassing things are normal and not to be taken too seriously or to worry about!
She Is Your Daughter. She Needs You. Her Future Depends On You.
When done right, there is something incredibly special about a father-daughter relationship. With you as the role-model, she can learn what a good man is and should be. When she does grow up and starts dating, she should have a good idea about what to look for and what not to look for in prospective suitors.
From the knowledge and understanding that she has gained from you on how men should act and be, and from all of the other memorable experiences that the two of you have shared together, this can be something for her that can make all of the difference to have a productive and rewarding life.
After all, a productive and rewarding life is what we want for ourselves, so why wouldn’t we want it for our daughters too? Why would we ever want to hold them back?
Conclusion
It should go without saying that we should love them and be happy to be with them and spend quality time with them. The positive and affirming results that your daughter(s) can gain from the time spent with you, their dad, will be well worth the effort.
What about you? How have you been able to have a positive father-daughter relationship? Have you had a broken relationship with your daughter(s) and have been able to bring it back together?
Daughters what advice can you offer to dads?
Be A Man – Do The Right Thing. Take Care Of Yourself And Your Family.
BAM!!! Be A Man! Do The Right Thing.
Be the DtRTy Guy!